… all these intrusive thoughts, dark thoughts are there to scare me away from feeling?
OH suggested I think about the process – why things happen. Why ones brain fixates on something terrible that one happens to have accidentally read and then can’t un-read or be unaware of.
You’ve just got an overactive imagination.
I’ve been told that a lot. Right from being a child. These feelings of anxiousness however new they may feel (2 years ish….), are definitely not new.
The realisation that I have quite successfully disconnected from my Self… and then the thought then follows of I don’t want to connect to myself. I don’t want to feel. And a resurgence of all the things I don’t want to think about take over my brain.
Clever little ploy.
Self-reinforcing, especially to someone who finds dark thoughts too disturbing. I don’t watch horror movies because I don’t like that feeling, and here my head is making my very own horror movie that would give Mr Jigsaw a run for his money.
What to do next. Unsure.
It seems I have forgotten who I truly am. (Best said in a Canadian accent…!)
Just watching. Time to sleep, observe for a bit.
Night night World.
Zx
PS – and right on cue as I headed back to Sh#tebook before signing out, and appropriate message to hit me square between the eyes…
Thank you Fractal Enlightenment… 