Time
Making things happen for you is all well and good – there is no doubting that. But there is also a time, where, well, time is needed. Patience required. Normally though, we have to be well past the event to recognise that maybe a little time was required. It’s called ‘hindsight’. The sight behind.
A look in the Online Entemology dictionary tells us that
“hindsight stems from the 19th century and means “backsight of a firearm,” from hind (adj.) + sight. Meaning “seeing what has happened” is from 1883, probably formed on model of foresight.”
Which is probably why we can see things so well with it.
So, at this moment in time, I can see all the places in the past where I’ve pushed for things to happen, where perhaps it would have been better to temper the situation with patience.
The unusual thing at this moment in time though, is that I can see certain actions and behaviours that are “pushing” again to make certain things happen.
A friend said to me today, that there is the temptation in many cases where a loved one has been lost and you were responsible for the loved one, to fill the void of emptiness with responsibility for another, when in actual fact what we need is time to take responsibility for ourself.
Which is quite a strange thought, but it’s true. When something upsetting happens, it’s my nature to make sure everyone else is ok and look after them. This is what I feel I want to do now, however, there is just me. And I realise that’s a scary thought.
Why is it so scary to look after myself?