Adulting win!

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Now I know the title of this post could be misread, but give me a moment to explain. For the past month I have been struggling.  Being poorly, having to decamp to my Parents house with the children, moving back home, and I’ve been stuck.  Can’t seem to get going in any direction, it’s all I have been able to do to get the kids dressed (most of the time), fed and watered, “outsided” (it’s now a verb…) and then into bed.  And then, I usually sit shellshocked and dazed on the sofa, fighting the urge to close my eyes Continue Reading →

Life – KM’d

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I’ve had a bit of trouble writing the vision for my life, as is the instruction in the Marie Kondo The Magic Art of tidying up. But about two weeks ago I became a bit poorly.  Bronchitis and tonsillitis.  Poorly enough that I ended up having to move into Mum and Dad’s with the entourage.  I’m really grateful actually.  Firstly that dear parents were able to look after us and also that I’ve had a haitus from being ‘in the mire’ at home.  I’ve had chance to think and view life from 5 minutes away. I want a life that Continue Reading →

Over-Readiness and Forgotten Roots

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In music teaching there’s a usually unknown phenomenon of “being over-ready” for exams.  It’s only usually known about for music performances or, for sports persons training for an event or competition. Basically it means you are past the optimum performance point for your training.  I feel that this has happened for me and the tidying-up process. In the months leading up to Christmas I couldn’t wait to get started.  I eagerly browsed Facebook groups relating to the process feeling all inspired and motivated seeing the before and after pictures. And then Christmas happened.  I waited (for once) to receive the book as Continue Reading →

Spring Cleaning

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The pre-Christmas tidy up this year was difficult.  I’ve mentioned that I wanted to undergo the KonMar method of tidying/decluttering post festivities, I just kept looking at the piles of stuff being tetris’d around and starting to pick items up thinking “Does this bring me joy?” But I resisted. And now I have to do the put it all away till next year.  The tree is down and away.  The decorations need sorting and boxing but that’s a job for tomorrow night. I’m left looking at a tantalisingly more spacious room, and all the “Stuff” is jumping out at me Continue Reading →

End of year Review

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My word that sounds so grown up.   But I want to take a moment to just honour the past year. It has for many people been really quite horrible. We too have had our share, but as I said to my OH earlier it could have been a lot worse.  It could have been better, but also much, much worse! Our youngest and in all probability last child arrived this year, and he has brought me so much joy and happiness my heart bursts. He is quick to giggle, and that giggle lifts me.  He has his Dad’s smile, Continue Reading →

Integrating.

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It’s been a strange Christmas so far. And its not here yet. My Dearest OH has said over the past few months that I’ve changed, but that I’m trying to fight against it.  My rather flippant retort to that was (internally anyway) of course I’ve changed, I’m now a mum to two… But something has happened I notice with the arrival of the Littlest Little One.  I find that although I may have tinges here and there of PNA (Post Natal Anxiety) at times, on a baseline with the arrival of the littlest one something else was returned to me. Continue Reading →

New Year.

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In the “old ways”, Samhain (end of October) signifies the new year.  To me January kinda feels wrong for a new year. Yet again this year I seem to have been hit with a truckload of energy and ideas and frustration is setting in as I have neither space, resources or energy (mental, emotional or physical) to do anything about them. But just over the past few days I have noticed something.  As much as I would like to have think that I have tread through this life carefully and quietly, actually, some of the things I have done have Continue Reading →

Move it Move it.

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It was an uphill struggle.  Partly because I knew what was coming. The disappointment in myself from last week. The disappointment I heard in other people when I told them I ducked out after lap 1.  The way it just hurt so much…  The nonsense going through my head. Last week I was Little Miss Prepared.  Everything was accounted for, ready to go, all eventualities prepared for.  Clothes out ready. For me and the kids.  Breakfast out ready to go… I saw it all play out in my head. “Make it so…”.  And so it was. This time could not Continue Reading →

Baby Loss Awareness Week

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I’ve been thinking about Little Spark on and off all week, what with one thing or another on the radio. A few weeks ago I ordered a “special offer” from Facebook. A necklace with a “wish” in it – for shipping only.  And promptly forgot about it. Today it arrived. The last day of Baby Loss Awareness week. It couldn’t be better. It has three dandelion seeds in it.  Which I take as all three of my babies.  The biggest wish grew wings and flew from this plane of existence to watch over us.  The other two stayed with me. Continue Reading →

Running down Demons

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A friend of mine introduced me to the existence of this thing called “Parkrun”.  Every Saturday morning, rain, or shine, people get up and out, put their shoes on and go run run/walk, walk, 5k at a local park / nature area. I’d been inspired to start running, mainly doing the C25K (Couch to 5k) programme initially, but I thought a little run/walk followed by more of a walk wouldn’t harm. In my previous post (Ch-ch-ch-changes) I mentioned that the first event didn’t quite go to plan.  The one I went to was in two laps to make up the 5k Continue Reading →