I’ve been putting off writing this blog post for about 6.5 days. Procrastination. Isn’t it weird how these two words have the same ending….DesTINATION. ProcrasTINATION. I could go on.
A rather good friend of mine did something amazing in September. She did the Great North Run for the first time. She went from couch to 13.1miles in about 8ish months. Granted she did have one of the most horrible starts one could have to a year, and this is what she did with it. I’m really proud of her.
I was inspired. I watched the event on the telly box just to get a glimpse (knew that wasn’t going to happen!) but all the while sending the good energy stuff over to her via the airwaves.
I was REALLY inspired. I remembered the couple of times I did the Cancer Research Race for life 5k. First one walked with some workmates. Second one I ran/walked it. As I watched the runners over the finish line, I remember how I felt at the end of it. And how I felt in the days that followed.
I went and bought running shoes.
Its now the middle of October (3 weeks since) and I’ve used my shoes (for running…) 3 times.
I’m fighting so many things with this little project I’m not sure I’m going to complete it.
“So – you joining me next year then?”
Oh my. I so want to. I really really want to.
But really really wanting to when you’ve got to get out of the door at least three times a week to go “run” with a toddler and a 6mo and a hubby…. when I’ve always put everything I want to do “on hold” especially since the arrival of the eldest little one, is proving to be a bit of a challenge.
In fact the whole of that last paragraph is bunkum. I’ve so many hangups and issues and rotten self beliefs when is comes to “exercise” of any kind that I’ll find ANY excuse not to.
Last week I was winning though. Last friday night I prepared. Yes me… little old me who can’t get her ducks in a row because she doesn’t have ducks (she has squirrels, who are all at a rave… and not interested in lining up).
I laid my clothes out. Special Running Socks. Jumper. Water bottle washed. Parkrun barcode was printed, laminated and cut out. I.Was.Ready.
I was awake at 6am. A lot of effort went into it. I was bloodyminded and bloody well going to do it.
I’ll aim to write a post about that first Parkrun hopefully later tonight. I’m hoping and praying the universe will hear my intention and that stars will align, children will go to sleep early(ish) and I can write.
Long and short of it is, I didn’t complete the run. I did the first lap, and then ducked out. It was hard work pushing the littlest little one in the pushchair (its not designed of off-road terrain… well – not after doing 2.75 years of service with the eldest little one).
I stropped and went home. Nearly walked all the way. (So if you add that up with the one lap I did, I probably did 5k anyway!)
I’m cautious about this one. I don’t want to give up again. I don’t want to be last. (I know someone has to be). I don’t want to hurt. There’s so much going on I can’t even grasp it, articulate it or write it.
My bloodymindedness is wavering.
But I’ll go.
I’ll just leave this here…..